Archive for the ‘Just For Fun’ Category

Where to put President Obama’s Picture?

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

George Washington, our nation’s first president and leader of the American Revolution!

Abe Lincoln, honorable leader pulled our nation through its darkest time!

(Though he was the first president to violate the US Constitution to maintain Power)

Alexander Hamilton, a founding father, first secretary of the treasury, and leader of the constitutional convention!

Andrew Jackson, “Old Hickory,” fought the British in New Orleans!

Ulysses Grant, Union army general, lead the North through the Civil War!

Ben Franklin, genius inventor, political theorist, and leading author of the constitution.

Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp!!!

Obamas policies will put more people on welfare than any president before him so this placement is most appropriate. Unlike the Nobel Peace Prize, for which he did nothing, this is an honor he richly deserves.

Let me see if i understand all of this…

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010
  • if you cross the north Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.
  • if you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.
  • if you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.
  • if you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.
  • if you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.
  • if you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.
  • if you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.
  • if you cross Mexico’s southern border illegally you will be shot at, beaten, jailed then, perhaps, sent back.
  • if you cross the U.S. border illegally you get:
    1. A job
    2. A drivers license, (many are forged)
    3. A social security card (many are forged)
    4. Welfare
    5. Food stamps
    6. Credit cards
    7. Subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house
    8. Free education
    9. Free health care
    10. A lobbyist in Washington
    11. In many instances you can even vote!

New and improved pre-flight safety instructions

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Government Flow Chart

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Kentucky Police do care

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Lexington, KY- The Lexington, Kentucky Police Department reports finding a man’s body in the Kentucky River just west of the Clays Ferry Bridge. The dead man’s name will not be released until his family has been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink g-string, purple lipstick, and an Obama T-shirt.

The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.

Kentucky Police do care.

Clever Scam – taking advantage of older men

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it. This will only become more commonplace as the weather warms.

A ‘heads up’ for those men who may be regular Lowe’s, Home Depot or Costco customers. This one caught me by surprise.  Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.

You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen June 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also July 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

What a horrible way to take advantage of older men.

Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds.  I’ve already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe’s, Home Depot, and Costco.

A dogs perspective made me realize…

Monday, January 11th, 2010

Realization . . .
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year
if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs,
but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a king and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,
my dog is a democrat (but I LOVE him anyway).A dogs