Finding balance in life
I turned 40 this past March and I love life. I own my own business, I design and sell trade show displays and help people with their websites, I have a loving wife who is supportive of most everything I do, and I’m playing music at my church. I also read a couple books a week, visit with lots of friends at the East Portland Chamber of Commerce and spend quality time with my dogs…but this story is about finding my balance, not a list of achievements.
Several of my friends are complaining about there age is showing in the aches and pains each morning. I too have body aches, but I start each morning with a dip in the hot tub.
While my day usually starts with a mental inventory of ALL the things I MUST do before close of business, I always fight through the urge to immediately sit down at the computer. Instead I take time each morning to tend to my dogs (Java and Bari). I feed them, give them water, take them outside for their morning constitution and then I brush them each for a couple minutes. Then we just stare at one another and greet our days (I do most all the talking).
Next I make myself a cup of coffee…ok I lied, I make the coffee first then tend to the dogs. But my focus is on the dogs!
After my doggie cuddle time I turn on the computer and head for the shower to prepare for my morning dip in the hot tub.
The boys follow me outside and if it isn’t raining too hard, they get more pets while dad soaks away the morning stresses. If it is raining, dad doesn’t stay in the tub too long!
My wife usually stays in bed for several more hours, so I get a good deal of quite time right away in the morning. With dogs in tow, coffee in hand and a list of tasks I prepared the night before, I sit down at my computer and get started.
OK, so why am I sharing this drudgery with you? What POSSIBLE purpose can it serve? This is my life lesson I learned back in college.
In a communications class I took my Freshman year we had a guest speaker who was going to tell us about time management. I was an older student, having spent three years in the Army, so I was one of the few that didn’t roll his eyes at this news.
The time management expert was dressed business casual smart with a button up shirt and lose fitting slacks. He carried with him a box that measured about 12″ long by 8″ deep by 8″ wide. He sat it on the counter and slowly, but with purpose, sorted his things. The professor just observed from the side of the room with his arms crossed.
The man pulled out an empty jar. It was about 3″ in diameter and maybe 6 or 7″ tall. It looks like one of my moms BIG pruning jars she had filled with cherries! She had dozens of those jars. I hate canned cherries to this day.
The casual man spoke. Holding up the jar, he said here is life. He swung the jar from side to side (slowly) as if he were a magician showing his audience that there was no rabbit in the hat. Duh! It’s clear, we see that it is empty.
“Here is where you are in your life.” He proceeded to add a few small rocks and pebbles.
“Each day of your life you will add contents to your jar”, he said. While talking he added some bigger rocks and pebbles. “You have big things and you have little things”. He continued with the demo and before long the jar was full of rocks.
He held up the jar to the class and said, “are we done? Is our life full?” Most of the class nodded. Then he pulled out another jar that had pea size pebbles and proceeded to pour them into the jar.
“Full yet?”
A few light bulbs seems to have lit in the minds of some in the room. I was still searching for the moral of the story. Many heads nodded. The glass did look full now.
The man produced another jar, this time with sand. He poured the sand into the jar and filled in all the tiny spaces. The room breathed together.
“Full? Keep in mind, this is your life. At this point can you die knowing that you have completed all those items on your life check list?”
Most of the room, including me, shock our heads yes. My mind wandered a little, why wasn’t anyone, including myself, answering verbally?
The man pulled out yet another bottle, this time with water. He proceeded to completely fill the jar. It now had rocks and pebbles and sand and water. There was NO WAY he could cram anything else into that jar.
He paused, set the jar on the counter and looked around the room. My light bulb must have been brighter at that moment, because he fix his stare on me and the rest of the room noticed. I remember thinking, this is like walking into church late.
The man asked, “full?”
“yes”, I replied.
“What’s the moral of this demonstration?”
I thought for a moment, in part because I was nervous that every was looking at me. I was 22 and a few years old than the rest of the students, but dam!
I said, “leave room for the big stuff.”
The man smiled. The professor smiled. Some girl on the other side of the class shouted, “what did he say?”
The man replied, “leave room for the big stuff.”
The man left his box and jar collection and walked out of the room. We all watched with horror! What just happened?
The rest of the class isn’t important, except to say that the whole event was staged by the professor who after the dramatic departure said, “that happens everytime. What I don’t understand is how he knows who to ask.”
We often fill our days with the little things and let them control our life. We know in the back of our minds that the big things are looming and must have our attention, but we are consumed by errands, chores, business tasks, and other “important” life distractions. The bigs things are family and friends, hobbies and personal interests, and our health.
Always start your day with the big rocks, the sand and water of life will fill-in the gaps as needed.